A Movement Contraceived: Masculism

Apollo Attended by the Nymphs of Thetis - François Girardon

The news media - and everyone else, for that matter - are aflutter with news of conservative treachery.  The dialogue is presented thus:  The Patriarchy, in conjunction with The Catholic Church, are trying to send American women back to the stone age by denying their fundamental right to "the pill."  A progressive female is brought into the news studio to articulate her position on the issue, as the male host dutifully nods in agreement.  The "conservative" perspective is dug up with footage of the fat man engaging in name-calling or the man in the vest proclaiming his unfaltering belief in theocracy; both men are presented as co-Emperors of conservative thought.  America is then asked to believe in this as an objective presentation of the argument, and worse, is asked to believe that this issue is somehow more in need of attention than others facing the country.

A New School of Poetry

The below is a free verse poem with which I set into motion the most artful vanguard to ever grace the medium of poetry.

The Wild White Cenote

Happy Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week!!!

1938 Burberry Advertisement.

The above photograph was taken at the first-ever Mercedes Benz Fashion Week in 1938. The event began far more modestly in Strassberg, and only lasted a single day; it was known as
"Mercedes-Benz Modebewusstgassespaziergängerintag." The advertisement was commissioned by then-Prime Minister of Great Britain Neville Chamberlain as a goodwill gesture after the signing of the Munich Agreement, and was featured in Time Magazine.

A Christmas List That Could Make a Saudi Prince Blush

Prince Alwaleed bin Talal al-Saud enjoying his in-flight glamor shot, which comes standard with the purchase of one gilt throne.

Christmas is upon us, and with this most wonderful time of the year comes the opportunity for millions of debt-strapped individuals all over the country to spend themselves back into prosperity. Below I have assembled a collection of items so unreasonably expensive and tacky that they would make even the likes of a Saudi prince blush. Lo:

A Call to Re-Occupy Your Parents' Basements

Kanye West, reasserting his importance in the political arena.

Today I make my voice heard. For today I write as a disenfranchised member of the Millennial generation! I will not, however, take to the streets. No; rather, I call on those who have - and in doing so embarrassed a generation with your braying of trite Guevarra-isms and paradoxical admiration of Guy Fawkes (do you want to blow up Parliament or endow it with more power?) - to retreat and take on a more manageable foe.

One Year Blogiversary: An Exercise in Neglect

Today marks one year since I started this blog. I have decided that if I ever want to get this thing off the ground I will have to do one of two things:

Write more, or, hire Vladimir Putin's publicist.

In the spirit of celebration, I post for you a retrospective of the finest Putin setup shots, starting with yesterday's "discovery" of Grecian urns. Please enjoy.

"Ugly" And Other Things You Can't Say In Ten Years

Notoriously ugly painter, Odd Nerdrum, in one of his many ugly self portraits, in his breathtakingly ugly figurative style.
(Note: my favorite self portrait of Mr. Nerdrum is not even safe for thinking about at work.)

Last week, the fine people at New York Magazine brought a critical issue to the forefront. Surprisingly, it had nothing to do with the sexual habits of Sarah Palin's children, nor even the last outfit Michelle Obama wore to that function that made her simultaneously down-to-earth and glamorous. No, it was the heretofore unseen sufferings of... The Homely: