A Movement Contraceived: Masculism

Apollo Attended by the Nymphs of Thetis - François Girardon

The news media - and everyone else, for that matter - are aflutter with news of conservative treachery.  The dialogue is presented thus:  The Patriarchy, in conjunction with The Catholic Church, are trying to send American women back to the stone age by denying their fundamental right to "the pill."  A progressive female is brought into the news studio to articulate her position on the issue, as the male host dutifully nods in agreement.  The "conservative" perspective is dug up with footage of the fat man engaging in name-calling or the man in the vest proclaiming his unfaltering belief in theocracy; both men are presented as co-Emperors of conservative thought.  America is then asked to believe in this as an objective presentation of the argument, and worse, is asked to believe that this issue is somehow more in need of attention than others facing the country.

A more reasoned argument from the Right may be that, very simply, a claim on the products or services of others as "rights" is entirely invalid.  The former is known as thievery, and the latter as slavery.  Free contraceptives can much more accurately be defined as privileges or benefits.  The idea that Congress or any federal actor has the power to guarantee access to such benefits from private insurers is enumerated precisely nowhere in the U.S. Constitution.  In fact, The 10th Amendment to the Constitution specifically prohibits any such federal action.

It is under the light of such boring debates - in which men are told they cannot have opinions - that my contrarian nature ripens.  I feel the time is right to pluck from my mind a social movement that has been idling for too long.  I present:  Masculism.

Masculism will be defined as the Apollonian counter-movement against the latter movements of feminism.  It rejects Freudian psychoanalysis as a means to attaining truth, and instead embraces reason and clarity. It is generally guided by the finest aspects of Stoicism, Futurism, Chivalry and Omertà, among other philosophies and attitudes.

The first order of business shall be to found the National Organization for Men, or NOM.  Through NOM, we hope to:

I. Advocate against Circumcision!  

• There is no reason the majority of American boys should continue to have their penises cut at birth.  That the human penis be mutilated to better maintain its cleanliness is an idea concocted by depraved minds of the highest order; this is tantamount to suggesting the removal of the second and fourth toes as a perfectly reasonable way of lowering the risk of foot fungus.  Furthermore, any man who is unable to maintain the cleanliness of his own penis deserves whatever infection befalls him.  
• We would of course take no offense to those who choose circumcision for their children on religious conviction.  We, unlike other certain National Organizations, respect religious liberty. 
•  We will take our cause to college campuses and host events such as "Take Back the Foreskin" and "Cock Talk."  We won't really be able to identify how "Cock Talk" is in any way anything other than 80 minutes of dick jokes, but we promise to get defensive when called out on it.

II. Advocate against Video Games!

•  These have done to the male population what Andrea Dworkin was never able.  While young girls are out playing sports, reading books, or forging friendships, young boys sit at home growing their tits while helping some imaginary wop on his never-ending quest to fuck a blonde.  This castration-by-diversion of our youngest men has been of incalculable detriment.
• We hope to remedy this through Futurist-like glorification of action, and encouraging boys to express their innate violence with Stoic-like control towards productive ends.

III. Eschew the American Diet!

•  The American diet has too many complex and simple sugars that encourage estrogen production.  This, combined with estrogen-pumped cattle, is feminizing the male population, and making for robust udders.
• We will encourage more unadulterated, undercooked protein and less sugar.  Consuming undercooked meat is the first step to a life lived con bravura.  
• Vegetarianism is a denial of nature, and thus entirely unacceptable.  Vegetarians should be treated with caution, and their statements met with skepticism.

I recognize fully the ambitiousness of  founding a school of poetry last week and a social  counter-movement this week, but ambition and action are central to the success of masculism.  

SEMPER VIRILIS.