The "baby box" has taken Europe by storm faster than the no!no!™ could have ever hoped to do. As The Old Continent ambles down the road to serfdom, what better tool to accouter itself with than the baby box, or Babywiege? The baby box, as pictured below, is a window-mounted air conditioning unit into which unwanted babies can be slipped for safe keeping.
This year, the Senate has decided to discontinue Seersucker Thursday, citing political impropriety. The ever-watchful populace sighed collectively in relief as they saw the profligacy of Washington melt away before their very eyes. Seersucker Thursday, originally started in 1996 by former Mississippi Senator Trent Lott, was scheduled for the first Thursday of every summer. The Senators would arrive to work in seersucker suits, take pictures, and do whatever it is exactly they are paid so generously to do.
Today marks the beginning of the EUFA European [Soccer] Championship Semifinals. The eight advancing teams will now square off over the next four days for their shot at the Henri Delaunay Cup. The New York Times is reporting on rumors that Arbiter Elegantiarum has officially endorsed the Italian National Team. While we can neither confirm nor deny this, we are doing our best to maintain neutrality in our reporting on the Euro Championship.
One might be inclined to believe that in every small town across America, the minarets start blaring "New York, New York" at 5:00 AM, and in response the good people position their prayer rugs due Northeast. While I do love this city, and I really believe it is the greatest in the world, I'm not convinced it is without its faults. On a daily basis, I find myself simultaneously hating and loving New York; call me a James Joyce. Below, I have assembled for you, my faithful reader(s) a "top ten" list of reasons not to live in New York City:
I pledge to honor all women (wymyn?) everywhere, by accepting my role in atrocities and cruelties committed long before my birth. I hold myself responsible for all actions that are not my own. I recognize, that just as it is not in any way absurd for me to personally take credit for the inventions of logic, space travel, the English language, and peanut butter; so too, it is fully rational for me to apologize for every wrong perpetrated by any single male, because, hey, I'm one too. I promise to speak in the creepiest way imaginable about lovemaking ("mutual body worship"), and your body parts ("sacred parfumeur"). I pledge to superficially take a stand against things that are obviously wrong, so
that you know I'm serious about the rest of the stuff I just said. Together, we can make miracles. Miracles. Miracles. Miracles.
Berlusconi and Kirchner are parts of the same whole: Berluskirchner.
Silvio Berlusconi, former Prime Minister of Italy, and Cristina Fernández de Kirchner, incumbent President of Argentina, are both making news lately, but not for any of the reasons I want them to be.
