Senators playing nice-a nice-a.
This year, the Senate has decided to discontinue Seersucker Thursday, citing political impropriety. The ever-watchful populace sighed collectively in relief as they saw the profligacy of Washington melt away before their very eyes. Seersucker Thursday, originally started in 1996 by former Mississippi Senator Trent Lott, was scheduled for the first Thursday of every summer. The Senators would arrive to work in seersucker suits, take pictures, and do whatever it is exactly they are paid so generously to do.
Seersucker, for those who have never had the pleasure of wearing it, is a puckered cotton fabric used to make lightweight clothing. Conflicting histories exist as to the exact origin, but what is not disputed is that it came from India, and was brought to the United States via British trading interests. The first seersucker suit was created by New Orleans tailor, Joseph Haspel in 1909 as a practical answer to the great swamp ass epidemic of the aughts. Soon thereafter, the suit became associated with those who could not afford wool suits, and then - predictably enough - started to ironically drape the backs of ivy-league undergraduates. From there, it became associated with wealth and style despite its affordability as compared to wool. In this most recent episode, some have suggested that it would be unwise to be seen doing something as frivolous as wearing seersucker in such polarized times.
That seersucker could be seen as frivolous as compared to the rest of the nonsense Congress endeavors to do on a daily basis suggests that someone is completely missing the point. To put this in perspective, let's say you opened a business the day Jesus was born, selling candied liver or something equally undesirable, and you were losing ten million dollars every day, including holidays and weekends. As of this writing - July 5, 2012 - you would only hold a fraction less than half the debt the United States government has accrued. The fact that we are rapidly approaching sixteen trillion dollars in national debt should be far more politically worrisome to the Senate than the prospect of being photographed wearing a summer suit, even if the arm holes are far too large, or the notches of the lapels sit far too low on your chest, or the lapels are far too wide for someone not wearing a clown tie, or the cut of the suit itself is far too generous for someone of your build, or you have chosen far too garish a shade of pink to pair with your otherwise pale suit.
Actually, I think I've seen that shade of pink somewhere else recently...
I am getting ahead of myself here-- the point is, you don't get to sixteen trillion in debt without being driven by what can only amount to a profound sense of duty to the concept of frivolity. I am talking of course about dragon robots for kids; studying the effects of cocaine on quail sex; a $30 million dollar stimulus package intended to spur Mango production in Pakistan; and much, much more.
It's improbable that anybody would really feel that betrayed if they saw their Senators being nice to the guys on Team Blue or Team Red, and bonding over a definitively American tradition that emphasizes elegance and formality; after all, we have so few opportunities for elegance in the public sphere. Perhaps in an attempt to appear mundane, and thus accessible - after all, what the voters truly want is somebody with whom they could see themselves sharing an imaginary beer - the Senate will adopt flip flop and cargo short Thursday. Such an insult to good taste would be in line with most everything our popular culture embraces.
The abolition of Seersucker Thursday must not be taken lightly, and I for one will stand up and do something about it. That's right; I will be writing a letter to my Senators, if for no other reason than to revel in the satisfaction of knowing that there is no form response letter at my Senators' offices for this issue. Democracy works!
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