Michael Bloomberg Is Actually Your Crazy Girlfriend

 Artist's rendering of what Michael Bloomberg might look like as your crazy girlfriend.

Michael Bloomberg's general behavior as mayor of New York City has approximated that of a crazy girlfriend.  It all started when you tried to break up with her for spying on you.  You tried to explain that it just wasn't working out, and that two terms was a really good run, but that was just going to have to be it.  She insisted you stay together because of the bad economy, and you reluctantly agreed, thinking that it would be a bad time to go it alone.

Big mistake.

On Foundlings and Changelings

The Foundling by Patricia Piccinini

The "baby box" has taken Europe by storm faster than the no!no!™ could have ever hoped to do.  As The Old Continent ambles down the road to serfdom, what better tool to accouter itself with than the baby box, or Babywiege?  The baby box, as pictured below, is a window-mounted air conditioning unit into which unwanted babies can be slipped for safe keeping.

Congress Heeds the Cry of the People: No More Seersucker Thursday

 Senators playing nice-a nice-a.

This year, the Senate has decided to discontinue Seersucker Thursday, citing political impropriety.  The ever-watchful populace sighed collectively in relief as they saw the profligacy of Washington melt away before their very eyes.  Seersucker Thursday, originally started in 1996 by former Mississippi Senator Trent Lott, was scheduled for the first Thursday of every summer.  The Senators would arrive to work in seersucker suits, take pictures, and do whatever it is exactly they are paid so generously to do.