Larry King Is a Walking Public Service Ad for the Pitfalls of Denim.
"There are only two actions I cannot tolerate. The first is denim. The other is murder. If denim is not wrong, nothing is wrong."
- Sebastian Horsley
I do not wear denim. I do not wear jeans. This is offensive to many of the people I know. When asked when I will start wearing jeans, my facial expression generally provides the answer: I will not. Like vegetarians, I am then asked to justify my decision to abstain from jeans. I don't really have an answer beyond "I don't like them." This answer is rarely sufficient as it generally prompts a denim-themed homily. To avoid such sermons, my answers have become increasingly creative. For example, when I see the inquirer is wearing "selvedge denim" or "raw denim" with the cuffs rolled up, I will generally make something up about how the indigo dye is made from otters' blood, or how entire rainforests have to be torched to make room for industrial otter blood farms. Here, then, once and for all, I present my full answer to why I do not wear jeans.
